i have finally made a decision...
i think i have to leave this blog already...
my high school and college memories...
i still have them inside my head...
i just have to go back if i want to relieve them...

as for my recent adventures and misadventures...

bribonería [my livejournal account]
twinkle [my multiply]
twitter [my twitter account]

this is getting crazy...

can anybody tell me how things should be after break-up? please, kindly orient me.

i may have the tendency to hold grudges...
but i'm not the type of person who'll throw things away...

i almost forgot about this picture, thank goodness i saw this in one of my internet accounts [Slide.com] and i went totally frantic cause i don't have it in my friendster, multiply, photobucket, laptop, flashdrive, etc. and i thought i won't be able to it anymore...

good thing i found you...

should i say goodbye to you?

i'm bored. i have a lot of things to do but i can't seem to stop myself write in this. i'm missing it, that's why.

so far, i'm having a lot of fun at the expense of my responsibilities. i can't help it. maybe i just can't myself to do anything yet since i just graduated. but i realized i'm somehow craving to be in a new world. i'm already craving to have a real, full-time job and i have found some already, much to my pleasure, but haven't submitted any resumes yet.

i'm planning to get myself a new ID picture. i know my face haven't changed much but using the ID pic that have used all throughout my college years that was taken during my 3rd or 4th yr of high school is already unreasonable. hence, i need a new one:p

i just don't want to be stuck at home, moreso, in my room. i want to go out, most of the time. if ever i have to stay inside, i want to do something else other than write thesis papers that i seem to have sick off. well, got to much of it during the school year, i guess.

i haven't missing a lot of people, somehow. i don't miss my college friends since i've spent some time with some of them when we had the 8 Waves outing. and i know that there'll be a chance soon that i'll be able to spend time with them again [Ging is asking for us to do something this coming Labor Day]. i'm not missing my high school friends that much anymore, i got to spend time with them during Ange's grad party, our T2 movie date last Friday and during Eliza's birthday party last night:D i even manage to see Cuaresma after four years and boy was i surprised! hahahahahaha. as for my grade school friends, they're just around the village, i can always get them to go here or go to there house.

i just feel bored and tired. i just want to bum around and even leave the laptop and internet for a day:p i miss watching DVDs, too bad the new seasons of House, Bones and Criminal Minds, and even Gossip Girl, won't be due til next month.

humf. i want to go out more even though i've been going out a lot already. too bad, there's not much people i can pull along with me. tsk.

March was a mixture of torture and happiness. it began with our last final exams - that's not redundancy. hahaha. then there's the endless revisions for our thesis. and the frustrating white card. grrr.

nonetheless, after that there was the grad briefing and toga fitting, baccalaureate mass, grad party and the graduation itself!

now everything's over and done. i can finally take the rest i've been dying to have for the last 17 years of my life. hahahhaa.

i'll miss you, 4AS1!:D

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graduation briefing/toga fitting:

Baccalaureate parade and mass:

4AS1 Grad party @ Puti Bar, Timog:

AB Graduation @ PICC:

--- --- ---

graduation. best way to end March with a bang!:D

tomorrow will be January's last day. and come February, all of us will be working our asses off to ensure our spot in the graduation coming in March. a has happened since my birthday...some pics to summarize it:

my and Cheka's birthday treat at SM Manila:

[ate at KFC then went singing afterwards:p]

4AS1 Christmas party at Ags' place:

[had exchange gifts - Phidel gave me a stuffie toy while i gave Wangkai a piece of cosmetics, had a game of truth or dare and open forum - to those who stayed til the end]

Paskuhan 2008:

[not as fun as the two Paskuhan i've been into - back in 1st and 2nd yr - but it was still worth it]

SPCP Senior '05 reunion at Maita's place:

[finally! i saw faces that i've been missing for four years! too bad, not everyone was there:( it was still fun though:p]

Pau's birthday treat at Golden Fortune, Binondo, Manila:

[a short-noticed invitation but it was still worth it, all of us were totally full! first time in Chinatown too, it was fun!]

4AS1 Retreat at Calaruega:

[first day, upon arrival:p]

[groupmates in sharing]

[4AS1 while in session]

[chillin' in our cottage with some visitors after lunch]

[night activity - bonfire]

[4AS1 on last day in Calaruega, after mass]

[4AS1 with the CAs]

[tent gurls]

[room 9 occupants]

[hanging bridge!!!!]

that was a lot, i guess. now, it's time for the hell month, Feb 15 is the date for the thesis defense. the pressure is on, i can feel it. i can't wait to get over it. i'm honestly very tired dealing with it. i want to have fun without thinking about it, my friends and i have plans after it, hopefully, we can push it through:D

the day started out wrong with the internet not working as it should be. nonetheless, it went good and i got loads of cake. haha. Pauline gave me a little and cute one yesterday and i haven't eaten it yet. haha. then Mama and Kuya bought two Red Ribbon cakes. haha. Ate gave me cash! whooo! hahahaha.

i just want to thank everyone who greeted me today. Liza being the first one to greet me. i was really touched! anyway, there are people whom i am expecting to greet me but didn't so i'm kind of "nagtatampo" but i don't want to dwell on that. this day was nice.

but still, i really want to celebrate it with my highschool friends but i really find it hard to make it possible. *sigh*. Cheka and i were suppose to treat our friends yesterday to dinner but decided to just do it on Saturday - things kind of happened and Dgae was nowhere so what's the sense? nonetheless, the two of us planned to watch a movie instead but we weren't able to made it since our choices kind of started when we got to the mall so we just ate dinner at Tokyo Tokyo. haha. it was nice.

my last - hopefully - semester in college. yahoo!

so far...i hate 8am classes because i always ended up being late for it - i was able to be on time, hahaha - but most of the time, i ended up hyperventilating, argh. Coco's actually asking my friends to wake me up, according to Cheka. haha.

thesis going smooth. as of now. but we have a deadline at Dec. 3 and i so hate Ancheta for that. she always make things so complicated and impossible. in my opinion, we don't need her that much, we have our advisers. well, other groups may not agree about that but it's not our fault that we have such awesome adviser. haha. anyway, one last interview was down thanks to Kuya Neil's help, we were able to interview ABSCBN last Tuesday, we waited for a long time but it feels great being done with it - i won't spill much details though:p all i can say was that someone tried to "pick up" Gela, haha, and Ms. Tessa thought we're bunch of high school students, Ms. Joy Bautista who was really the person we're set to interview was not there, good thing Ms. Tessa and Ms. Rachel were there *sigh*

[with Ms. Tessa]

[with Ms. Rachel]

got another graduation pictorial next week. argh. i love it but hate it the same time. i love it because i have another oppurtunity to express my narcissism and vanity but i hate it because my face does not like make-up very much - something i learned after my first graduation pictorial - since it ended up having more pimples. argh. besides, i have to spend another batch of cash and Mama's not helping me out with the expenses.

i just finished the whole Gossip Girl Season 1 awhile ago and i couldn't love Connor Paolo more! hahahaha. he's so cute!!!! even though he's "gay" at the series, i prefer it being that way than have the show make him hook up with that Jenny (Taylor Momsen) who's been pissing me off at the middle of the series but at that point i started to like Chuck and Blair, haha.

--- --- ---

i'm not loving this time of the year very much. it's so hard making things go well when you have messed up a lot at the beginning. i'm not sure anymore if i'm happy that i did the right thing.

i'm turning 20 in weeks time and i wish i could've a much better way to celebrate it. Cheka and i agreed to treat some of our classmates to dinner - it's actually good that we have our birthdays in two consecutive days which enables up to share the expenses. i've made plans with my friendly neighborhoods to go out on Saturday on the week of my birthday but i'm not sure if it will push through though, i'm short on budget and i'm not sure if i'll have enough come that time.

but what i really wanna do is spend a day with my high school friends which is kind of impossible. i just feel so frustrated thinking that it can't happen. last Tuesday, Coco and i were talking in front of the faculty room and she kind of mentioned that she was waiting for Ags because they're going to see some of their high school batchmates. Anj also can spend time with them. Malorie, too, with just one call and they're good to go. i don't say it but i really feel so envious, i wish it'll be just like that with us but we're all so busy, at least they are - i have plenty of time with me, with classes just 4 times a week, not the whole day at that.

on the good side, i was able to see Jikki last Wednesday but we didn't spend a lot of time though, she needed to go somewhere - school stuff. we planned to eat together that night though. but i don't blame her, i completely understand that. i was just set to borrow her copy of Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe for my book report. good thing we already had a book report on it back in 3rd yr high school, i didn't read it though, haha. i went all the way to Robinson's Ermita to meet her - that was quite an adventure! haha. Malorie told me to take a jeep and go down to Padre Faura, i asked the jeepney driver to tell me if we're already there but he forgot so i needed to walk back and all the way to the mall. to add more walking, Jikki was at the National Bookstore which is at the other side from where i am, whew! i was honestly dizzy when i found her. haha. i took the train on my way back and was reprimanding myself of why i didn't just do it on my way there and perhaps it could've save more time and i could've spend a bit more time with Jikki.

anyway, i got the book and that's what matters. spending time with her can come if i returned the book. hihi.

--- --- ---

i'm busy but totally bored. i'm way pass my deadline but i still have 50% of 12 pages to go. guess that means i'm not be able to go with Jen to WIN. too bad.

anyway, due to my boredom, i looked for an ebook of Gossip Girl but only manage to find the first book. it's not that i don't want to read it, i've been wanting to buy the books the first time i saw it in the bookstores but they were to many of them and i got totally lost by think which one goes first. i decided to wait for a packaged set then, but when there are already available, i've no money and even if i do have, i'll buy a Harry Potter set first.

i finished the first book less than a day, wow. not really surprising. i can read a dozen of multi-chaptered fanfictions in a day. afterwards, i read the summaries of the sequels at Wikipedia and decided not to waste money over it. then i read its article regarding its TV series and ended up watching it over the internet - at least i didn't buy a pirated DVD (well, i'm planning to since i hate buffering).

but i won't be probably watching it right now if it wasn't for a certain cute actor - excuse me, not Chase Crawford though - Connor Paolo.

Connor Paolo plays Erik van der Woodsen - Serena's (one of the main characters) younger brother - originally, though, Erik should be Serena's older brother, not that i care though. all that matters is that it's him. haha. however, i wish he didn't settle with this kind of TV show since he can do better. he already guested in Law and Order: Special Victims Unit for two times and he's always been the subject - or the suspect - and he can really act. i've watched one of his guestings, the first one and he was still very young then and i was really impressed with his skills and i was like thinking that the role was very mature for him - well, his role was a preteen murder-rapist (how's that for someone who just stepped into his teenage years) and he was like detailing what he did to the court in a very clarified way and total conviction about how he raped and murdered an old woman. that's why i must say he shouldn't be in Gossip Girl - he can be more than just Erik van der Woodsen. on the contrary, maybe i'm not really used to watching him playing a "normal" character. haha.

since he have close-to-limited scenes, i have to watch every episode of Gossip Girl for him. i find the show amusing though, yah, amusing. hence, i'm entertained but it's not something i will watch over and over again like what i do with Criminal Minds and Bones - well, that's on a different genre and level. despite drooling over Erik i do think Nate is cute when he have his hail all combed up. i find Chuck a moronic asshole, Blair and Jenny's a bitch, Dan's a nice guy and Serena's a smart one. oh, i forgot Vanessa, well, i don't like her, she's ruining the Dan-Serena love story which i find nice but i think Serena and Nate will also look good together, much better than the bitchy Blair. i also think that even though Jenny's a bitch, she looks good with Erik. but i'd prefer if Erik will stay just as Serena's little brother. haha. good thing his character's gay - giving him the most edgiest role in the show somehow, at least it's something he can be challenged upon. but as far as i have watched, his capabilities somehow show bit by bit - i love his scene with Blair on the third episode, Poison Ivy - it showed a bit of what he is trully made of.

young Connor Paolo as Zachary Connor in Law and Order: SVU - "Juvenile"

he's really cute! haha. he talk different now, though. that doesn't matter anyways.

gotta watch more.